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Forget Fireworks on the 4th of July—Because they Suck

There are plenty of reasons environmentalists hate fireworks. But I just think they suck.

Brian Merchant

By Brian Merchant
Brooklyn, NY, USA | Fri Jul 03, 2009 11:00 AM ET

fireworks photo


Stephen Strathdee/istockphoto

We can go down the list of reasons that green folk are against fireworks—they're big air polluters, the metals used to make them are literally poisonous, and the perchlorates they're made with contaminate water supplies and milk.

But that's not why I won't be celebrating the 4th of July by watching explosions on a picnic blanket this year. I'll be skipping the fireworks because they're lame.

Now, I know that I'm going to get run over the coals for daring to venture such an 'unpatriotic' claim, but hear me out. First of all, I am not an anarchistic America-hating malcontent. Quite the contrary. I just happen to think fireworks are boring as hell.

Consider: you sit down on a grassy knoll in a park by a lake or a river somewhere. You're a bit tired from a long, pleasant afternoon of bbq-ing, picnicking or such. It's hot outside, even though it's getting to be dusk—all that perspiration from the celebratory day has dried all over you. You're a little itchy maybe. But instead of heading on home to rest up, or meeting some friends for a drink, you willingly sit down and commit yourself to a half hour of watching one indistinguishable explosion in the sky after another. And another.

Seriously—if fireworks weren't so closely related to our Independence Day, would anyone put up with them? Maybe I'm alone here, but I just find the ritual tedious—maybe the patterns change a bit year after year, but who remembers patterns? And other than that, it's the same old shower of colored sparks every time.

And 252 million pounds of the environmentally hazardous stuff is sold every year. So maybe we should consider sitting out every other year or so. On the grounds that fireworks are kind of crappy. And while I know this is bound to be an unpopular position, I'm not the only one who thinks that fireworks really suck. I say let's cut our air and water—and my attention span—a break, and forget about the fireworks.

If you're with me, write your city government and say so.

Read more on celebrating summer the green way.


More on Fireworks:
Fireworks: The Annual Whine About Their Environmental Impact
Green Fireworks Come in All Colors

 
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