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It used to be that the exclamation point was used in the rare circumstance that there was something so important, or so exciting or urgent, that the sentence or phrase preceding it would be screamed or exclaimed rather than spoken.
These days, exclamation points are used as if there is an unlimited supply. But a new study shows that exclamation points are not a renewable resource as previously thought. In fact, at the current rate of usage, the potency of the exclamation point could be depleted by the year 2012, rendering its use in the future completely ineffective.
Scientists compare this phenomenon to coffee's continuous stimulation of the adrenal glands. Keeping the body in emergency mode everyday with adrenal stimulation eventually leaves the body without a good potent dose of adrenaline when it is actually needed. It also leaves a person feeling tired, depressed, and unimportant when it wears off.
It is not a coincidence then that the new study shows that the people who are using up all of the exclamation points are the same people who are stimulating their adrenal glands with high doses of coffee. This causes them to type excitedly, thinking everything is urgent and important. The study further reveals that the number of cups one drinks per day usually equals the number of exclamation points they use at the end of a sentence or subject line.
How do you know when to properly use an exclamation point? Simply try screaming or exclaiming your sentence out loud to see if it sounds right. If you use two exclamation points, grab the person next to you while you both jump up and down with joy or fear, repeating the sentence a few times...each time getting louder and louder. If you use three or more exclamation points, get everyone’s attention within earshot, even if it means stopping traffic to announce your world changing idea or realization. If any of those situations feel awkward, simply save that exclamation point for another time, or use one or two less than you would have.
Once our exclamation points run out, that’s it. Nothing will ever be important or exciting again. Period.
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