How to Poop in the Woods

Everybody poops. And though you can escape your job, your house, and even other people in the great outdoors, you're going to have to go at some point. And while it might seem kinda green, in that back-to-nature sort of way, to just drop trow and do your business, the truth is you have to know the protocol when it comes time to poop in the woods.

First off, though, what's the big deal here? Well, while the developed world has a huge, expensive, energy- and water-intensive infrastructure to deal with our waste, the great outdoors has no such system. And, though our leavings are biodegradable, that doesn't happen overnight; while your poo is getting 'recycled,' it's still pretty dirty, full of bacteria and a host of stuff that we need to keep out of the way. Not just out of your way (important as it may be) but out of waterways, where you may be collecting your drinking and cooking water during your wilderness excursion, and a little bit goes a long way; many pristine alpine lakes and rivers have been polluted to the point of banning human contact with them by a few carelessly placed poos. Though your improperly placed poo can have much more far-reaching impacts, here's the short answer: Don't sh*t where you eat.

So that's why, but how do you do it? There are a few basic rules to follow when the spirit moves you.

Keep your distance

For both numbers 1 and 2, stay at least 200 feet from any water source or trail; again, you don't want to eat, drink, or walk in any of this stuff, so don't get lazy when it comes time to go. This distance will also help you avoid any, um, surprises by anyone else who happens to come sauntering down the trail or through your campsite while you attend to business.

Come prepared

If you venture in to a no pit-toilet zone -- like most anywhere that isn't a registered campground -- don't leave home without a proper trowel/shovel, enough toilet paper to get you there and back (there are alternatives, too; more on that in a sec), and some hand sanitizer to help you clean up when you're done. Anyone who's ever tried to take care of business out there without these materials will tell you that this is not a step worth skipping.

Dig a proper hole

According to Leave No Trace, Inc., digging a hole and burying human waste is an effective way to minimize its impact on the great outdoors. Don't be hasty or shy when it comes to this step; go at least 6 to 8 inches down, keeping your freshly dug ground nearby so you can use it to fill the hole. A rock on top helps keep any curious critters from digging anything up, and can also signal to anyone else who happens on your spot that this is now a no-dig zone.

Think ahead

It should go without saying that hole digging should come well before you make your deposit, but it can sneak up on you if aren't careful. Scope out your spot ahead of time; picking a scenic spot, with a nice tree trunk, boulder, or other object to provide you with proper furniture, is time well spent. Keep your shovel where you can get to it easily -- you'll want it handy if the call comes in the middle of the night.

Remember: There's no 'away' out there

When you're in the backcountry, attempting to leave no trace, everything that comes in with you has to come out; there is no garbage can, nowhere to throw anything 'away.' If you're using a green toilet paper -- chlorine bleach is definitely a no-no -- then it can go in the hole; if you're really keen to leave the wilderness as pristine as possible, you can pack it out with you, though a non-holey plastic bag is definitely essential for this part. If you're in an area where campfires are allowed, burning is an okay option for your paper, too.

Holes: A caveat

Rarely, you'll find yourself with no feasible way to dig a hole; whether you're surrounded by rocks, ice, or some other impervious surface, hole-digging may not always be possible when nature calls (though it's always preferable, when possible). Rare also is the area so sensitive that land management agencies prohibit it. Whatever the reason, if digging can't happen, always have a hefty plastic bag to be used only to store waste in a sanitary manner, and be packed with you out of the backcountry.

Alternatives to toilet paper

If you find yourself without toilet paper, by choice or circumstance, remember that necessity is the mother of invention, and don't be shy to look around for paper-like substitutes. While dew-laden leaves are probably at the top of the list, they can be sort of hard to come by; sticks without bark, smooth rocks (like from a river bed) and even snow can be used in a pinch. If some of these don't sound very pleasant, be sure to pack enough toilet paper.

So follow these tips and you'll have a clean, green, enlightening backcountry bathroom experience; learn more about treading lightly from Leave No Trace.

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