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Bagging the Bag: A Revolt Against Going Green

Just how hard can it be to use a cloth grocery bag? SuChin Pak finds out.

Team Planet Green

By Team Planet Green
Silver Spring, MD, USA | Tue Jul 01, 2008 01:32 PM ET

Girl with plastic bags


Van der Meer/Getty Images

Blaire and I have been friends ever since I moved to New York. We both hosted a talk show when the Oxygen Network first launched. It was a two-hour live daily talk show, so you can imagine how much time we were forced to spend with each other. Thankfully, she's the funniest, sweetest, meanest person I've ever met. She may not be nice all the time, but she will always be honest. And I'd rather have that any day... Nice is overrated.

Blaire is having a little trouble with the whole green movement. I'm trying to check her into GREENHAB, flushing out the toxic waste of unnecessary over-consumption from her veins, but it's not gonna be easy. I recently tried to get her to convert to using a cloth grocery bag. Listen to what she has to say about that. From Blair:

Go green or go home, they say. But wait, I am home...and even there I feel FORCED to "go green" and I do NOT respond well to feeling pressured to conform.

My supermarkets will no longer be giving out plastic bags INSTEAD I have to shell out 99 cents per eco-conscious . BOO!

WHY? I like my plastic bags. They help me pick up dog poop, take greasy foods to work, and clean out my car (SuChin has scolded me into NOT throwing things outta my window) but NOW what do I do? Dump my gum and old Starbucks cups in my pretty multi colored cloth bag? How about when the skilled bagger puts the eggs under my milk…will Mr. Ralph's market be at my house helping me wash out my eco-friendly bag? (P.S. More water wasted!) And this word..."eco-friendly"... It's not friendly to me! When the blood from some raw meat purchase gets all over my bag then spreads through my car, that is NOT friendly! And making me pay for the bag to bring home the purchase I already paid for? None of my friends would do that. This is eco-HELPFUL. But not friendly.

I love the Earth. I love all god's creatures (even the ones I eat). I love the trees. But I'm more willing to plant a tree and feel good about it than wash raw eggs out of my car floor in 100-degree weather because my reusable cloth grocery bag SUCKS!

So what's a girl to do?

 
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