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You may have just gotten a brand-new mouthful of dentures. These new dentures may be able to bite through the toughest of jerky and the mightiest of Jolly Ranchers. Yes. You and your half-man, half-machine mouth are ready to take on any gourmandian challenge. But what about your old dentures, stained from years of tea sipping and food-biting? You don't want to just toss them out.
According the the Straight Dope, dentures are almost impossible to reuse. They are molded for the individual's mouth. They can't really be recycled. Once dentures are made they are here to stay. What's worse is that no one seems to know how to dispose of these things. They just sit in landfills or junk drawers. They'll be here with the cockroaches at the end of time.
When I started this post, I thought it would be fun and easy, and I could cherry pick the best tips from around the internet. This was not the case. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Dentures became an albatross around my neck. I emailed strangers, combed through comments and message boards, consulted manuals and found very little. Despite the drought of denture-reuse information, I managed to find three far-fetched reuses for dentures. Which, by the way, may be the most comprehensive list on the internet.
With that, I bring you three ways to reuse dentures:
- Donate them.
Who'd want old teeth? You'd be surprised. In Japan, they have a Japan Denture Recycling Program. Precious metals are removed from dentures and sold. The proceeds go to help needy children through UNICEF. Unfortunately, I cannot find an English address for this organization, but if you can read it, here is the JDRP's website in the original Japanese. For everyone else, you can talk to your dentist. He or she may be able to help you remove the silver and palladium that are often found in false teeth. You can probably sell those precious metals and donate the money to UNICEF yourself. - Arts and Crafts
You can use false teeth in art projects. Art schools, always looking for weird materials, may take old dentures off your hands. Personally, I would put my false teeth in a fishbowl, like a little castle that fish could swim through. I think that would be fun. For more suggestions on artsy things to do with dentures, check out the RecycleThis message board. - Bottle Opener
One could theoretically fashion a bottle opener out of a set of false teeth. In fact, one inventor has a patent for just such an item. It looks like you can make your own version of a kitschy false-teeth bottle opener, simply by gluing a bottle opener to false teeth. Use non-toxic glue.
- Bonus: Dental Schools and Health Classes
A few messages boards on the net floated the idea of donating the dentures to dental schools and health classes. I couldn't find any corroborating evidence that people could actually do this, but it might be worth a shot.
More on Reusing:
Reuse Your Bra!
How to Reuse Broken Mirrors : Glass Green Home
How to Reuse Your Old Scrabble Board
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